Paris Hilton Jokes

Funniest Paris Hilton Jokes (Collection #2)

(Get Paid $1,000 For The Funniest Joke You’ve Ever Heard)

Note: This list was sent in by an anonymous reader of our site who says, “These jokes are essentially ‘dumb blonde jokes’ but we know that not all blondes are dumb. However, Paris Hilton sure seems to be. So we just replaced her name into the jokes. And it actually made lots of sense LOL! Enjoy!”

“Be sure to add your own Paris Hilton jokes …” at the bottom

Paris Hilton Jokes #51. One day, Paris Hilton decided to go ice fishing. So, she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination, she started to cut a hole in the ice. Suddenly, she heard a booming voice. “There are no fish under the ice.” Suprised, she turned around and saw no one. So she went back to cutting the hole. The booming voice could be heard again, “There are no fish under the ice!” Again, she turned around and saw no one. So she asked, “Is that God?” The booming voice replied, “No this is the Ice Rink Manager, and you’re going to have to pay for those holes, you effin biatch!”

Paris Hilton Jokes #52. Paris Hilton’s Med-School Dictionary

Paris Hilton wanted to go to med-school to prove to everyone that she was smart. Unfortunately, there were many medical terms that were too confusing for her:

Medical Term - What Paris Thought
———— ——————
Artery — Study of paintings
Bacteria — Back door of cafeteria
Barium — What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel — Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section — District in Rome
Cat scan — Searching for kitty
Cauterize — Made eye contact with her
Colic — Sheep dog
Coma — A punctuation mark
Congenital — Friendly
D&C — Where Washington is
Diarrhea — Journal of daily events
Dilate — To live long
Enema — Not a friend
Fester — Quicker
Fibula — A small lie
G.I. Series — Soldiers’ ball game
Grippe — Suitcase
Hangnail — Coathook
Impotent — Distinguished, well known
Intense pain — Torture in a teepee
Labor pain — Got hurt at work
Medical staff — Doctor’s cane
Morbid — Higher offer
Nitrate — Cheaper than day rate
Node — Was aware of
Outpatient — Person who had fainted
Pelvis — Cousin of Elvis
Post operative — Letter carrier
Protein — Favoring young people
Rectum — It almost killed him
Recovery room — Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic — Amorous
Scar — Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion — Hiding anything
Seizure — Roman emperor
Serology — Study of knighthood
Tablet — Small table
Terminal illness — Sickness at airport
Tibia — Country in North Africa
Tumor — An extra pair
Urine — Opposite of “you’re out”
Varicose — Located nearby
Vein — Conceited

Paris Hilton Jokes #53. Paris Hilton and her equally clueless friend decide to go to the dog pound and each get a puppy. After arriving home, Paris says to her friend, “How are we going to tell them apart?” Her friend replied, “I know, I’ll give my puppy a red bow, and you can give your puppy a blue one.” The next day, Paris comes back and says, “Oh no, I can’t tell them apart! They ripped the bows off when they were playing!” Her friend says, “I know, I’ll give my puppy a red collar, and you give yours a blue one.” The next day, Paris returns. “Oh no, they’ve taken their collars off while playing. I can’t tell them apart!” Her friend says, “I know. Why don’t I take the black puppy, and you take the white one?”

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Paris Hilton Jokes

Funniest Paris Hilton Jokes (Collection #1)

(Get Paid $1,000 For The Funniest Joke You’ve Ever Heard)

Note: This list was sent in by an anonymous reader of our site who says, “These jokes are essentially ‘dumb blonde jokes’ but we know that not all blondes are dumb. However, Paris Hilton sure seems to be. So we just replaced her name into the jokes. And it actually made lots of sense LOL! Enjoy!”

“Be sure to add your own Paris Hilton jokes …” at the bottom

Paris Hilton Jokes #1. Want to know a Paris Hilton joke? Look at her nose -now THAT’S a joke!!

Paris Hilton Jokes #2. Paris Hilton looked at her driver’s license and got depressed when she saw that she got an “F” in sex. (F = Female)

Paris Hilton Jokes #3. Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are catching up after having not seen each other for a long while, when Britney says to Paris, “Did you know that I’m married to Kevin now?”

Paris replies, “Really? No, I didn’t know that, but I used to date him. Isn’t he the one who had the really bad dandruff?”

“Yeah,” answered Britney, “but I fixed that, I gave him some Head & Shoulders.” Paris looks really confused and after a few moments asks, “How do you give head and shoulders?”

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